xanthan gum

i agree with PsyLynx. it is a snapshot, in a sense. there is only one suggestion i have: While the chill of the night... settles in... i'd suggest something more ...

redo your line breaks. espicially in the second to the last stanza. as always, i'm going to push poetic language in your poems, espicially on such a strong subject. this ...

each of the stanzas were it's own separate work - i was hoping you'd tie them in at the end, but you didn't. perhaps you could consider it? otherwise, the ...

the first few stanzas were beautifully written, but then you changed styles. it was no less than before, merely different. your descriptiveness and tantalizing imagery faded, and it became a ...

this was beautiful...up into the very last line. it was jolted and sort of awkward, like it didn't belong in this poem. i GOT it, but i just think that ...

get rid of the comma in the last line and one "with" in the third to last line. other than that, this was fairly well written. the rhythm was occasionally ...

okay, i would like you to say that i enjoyed reading this poem and i'm sure it'd be even better if i sat here and pieced each phrase apart, wasting ...

absolutely stunningly beautiful. besides, of course, the off rhythm in the last line of the first stanza. :) my favorite parts: crossword-cryptic that living is a pleasure, not a sin.

i'm amused. the lines of the fourth stanza are too long, i'm sorry to say, and they barely squeeze into the regular rhythm and pattern. it's far too fat, for ...

parts i didn't like: Showing in your eyes was all the pain and denial --this didn't exactly fit with the lines around it. Degeneration is replaced with exhilaration is replaced ...

use more poetic language, you have the start of something good here. the rhythm was off in a few places: For someone’s life to turn upside down. Why, when and ...

i agree with timjim, though this was relatively good. i love that you've adopted your own style, though, instead of others. i'm sorry for not having much to say :)

i agree with blackdaisy. the second stanza was lacking the same feeling as the rest of the poem, which can be a good thing or a bad thing, but as ...

this was beautiful. the imagery - the description - wonderful. i liked: But light can’t be solid. Even the brightest star fades away, As that twinkle effervesces from the gentle ...

(pre-apology for horrible critique) i loved this. this was amazing. i think you should fix the line breaks of the last stanza. this is my suggestion: but even then, in ...